Making Myself Proud

When was the last time you did something that made you proud of yourself?

If you're anything like me, the majority of your decisions and experiences have been made in favor of someone prominent in your life like your parents, or an educator, or maybe even your whole community. That can mean tremendous amounts of pressure! Trust me, I've been there.

Today I want to suggest you do something big and wonderful for yourself. "Just for you." That's right, "just for you" in quotations, I've made no mistake. Let me explain;

Healthcare has always been a huge part of my life. I've taken health courses since 6th grade and I liked it. It makes sense to me, and that's good. I placed in healthcare competitions on the state level in middle school, and I did very well in classes pertaining to health for the longest time. The culminating moment of these experiences was my acceptance into the top nursing school in the state of Florida. It made sense, it was good. I made a lot of people proud and I liked that.

Then mom called, about a week into my first nursing school semester, and asked me,

"Alyssa, do you want to be a nurse?"

"Mom, I've never wanted to be a nurse."

Did I feel horrible? Absolutely. I was a phony, liar. I'd told everyone that I wanted to be a nurse for years and years. I'd told the lie so many times that I had started to believe it myself. Don't get me wrong here, the nursing profession is in my humble opinion, the most important job there is. Nurses are the eyes and ears of the doctors. They are managers, therapists, advocates, caregivers, fountains of hope and knowledge, and much, much more. They work almost non-stop, sacrifice everything and themselves for the lives of every other. So why, with such a lofty opinion of the nursing profession, did I decide to lay on the brakes?

For me, it came down to passion. Helping others is something I'm passionate about, but so is art. The happiest I've ever been is drawing with and for dementia residents in an assisted living facility. If I could do that for the rest of my life I'd be as happy as could be.

Thinking about those factors made me do something very "selfish." I decided to change my major. It wasn't entirely uncalled for, my grades were plummeting, my responsibilities were out of wack, and I had become a person I didn't know (or like) very much. Changing majors actually made me feel very accomplished, (despite having to admit that I was phony bologna.)

What it boils down to is this: Doing something you don't love, no matter how noble the cause, is not going to serve anyone very well, and it leaves you feeling hollow inside. One of the best ways to feel pride is knowing that you are challenging yourself while still making an impact on the lives of others. Get out there, do something "selfish" like volunteering for causes you care about, picking up a new hobby, or even picking up an old hobby! Find that one thing you'd love to do for the rest of your life and find out how to make that a reality. Then, do it. Small starts are O.K. Everyone has to start somewhere. Doing what makes you happiest and brings you the most pride isn't selfish, it serves a greater overall purpose. Isn't that what life is all about?